Hey there! Thanks for stopping by! I wanted to dive into the subject of nepotism in youth sports coaching. If you are not 100% certain of what the word nepotism means, here is a basic definition:
the practice of giving preferential treatment to friends or family members
With an understanding of what that definition means, I’d say that we can all concur that nepotism can be a real poison to any sports team. In respect to youth sports, it is even more dire of an issue, when compared to adult sports. It is simply not a viable blueprint for young athletes to follow, as it can breed an environment of selfishness, entitlement and bad sportsmanship, among many other things.
I have been a youth coach off and on, for many years, with my youngest son (who is now 12) who currently plays on the team as well. I am mindful of the particular team dynamics that this might affect. Perhaps you are in the same coaching scenario, or you have been in the past?
When a “coach’s kid” or a “coach’s friend’s kid” is on the same team, it is crucial for you as the coach, to prioritize fairness and avoid any ill-conceived perceptions of favoritism. The latter can make things very awkward and tense between yourself and fellow parents. Fortunately, there are some strategies for keeping nepotism at bay and thereby saving you a big headache in the short and long term:
Clear Communication From The Outset
As I have mentioned in previous posts, establish clear expectations and guidelines for all players and their parents, as early in your season as possible. Make it firmly known that fair treatment and equal opportunities will be provided to all team members.
When you have completed that statement, make it again. Parents and players need to know that you will strive for fairness, while maintaining a strong level of competitiveness. If you do have a child on the team, it is highly recommended that you notify the rest of the team and the parents of this little tidbit of information. It can potentially save you many headaches going forward and it can also hold you accountable to maintain fairness.
Equal Playing Time
As a youngster who played sports, I hated sitting on the bench for extended periods of time. I was a good athlete and it mystified me as to why I was not on the field, when I felt that the team needed me at that particular juncture of the contest. Perhaps those times, my coach felt that I needed a breather? Maybe the coach sat me in order to open up more play-time for one of my teammates? I didn’t fully understand the reasoning back then.
Now that I am a coach and the parent of a player, I understand that the logic behind it. It is imperative that you ensure that all players, including your own child, have a fair opportunity to participate in games and practices.
Implement a rotation system or set guidelines for playing time to ensure fairness and give every player a chance to contribute. It is a wonderful feeling at the end of a game (win or lose), to know that each and every player did their part to try to help the team win; not just your kid.
Objective Evaluation
Generally speaking, there can be a vast range of skills that a team possesses, regardless of the sport. In order to create a winning/competitive formula for your team, you will want to assess your players’ skills and performance based on objective criteria.
Use standardized assessments, such as skill drills or performance evaluations, to make fair judgments, as to who will be 1st string squad, 2nd string squad and so forth. On account of those fair judgments, you should able to design well-balanced squads, irrespective of string. As an important side note – you should avoid any biased evaluations that may favor your child (if/when applicable).
Transparent Decision Making
This piece, speaks to the Objective Evaluation above. As you begin to be aware of the variety of skill sets that are under your purview, you can be open and transparent about team selections, positions, and roles. You must clearly communicate the reasons behind these conclusions, so that parents and players understand the fairness and rationale behind your decisions. Parents who are well aware of their player’s skills, or lack thereof, can be of great relief, as they can fully back your decisions, and not take any issue with them.
In Conclusion: Can you avoid the nepotism black hole?
As you continue/begin your coaching journey, remember to maintain fairness as a coach with your child on the team. Undoubtedly, this requires an extra degree of vigilance and conscious effort to avoid any appearance of favoritism. During your season, there will be numerous situations that present themselves that will NOT be black and white.
By setting clear expectations, enforcing equal opportunities, and maintaining open lines of communication, you can create an environment that is fair for all players. And with that, hopefully WINS will quickly follow!
Please feel free to leave a comment below, about this discussion! If not, you can simply say “Hi!”. I like it when people say “Hi!”. And as always…thanks for reading, everyone!