In youth sports, coaches face a unique set of challenges, in the pursuit of leading a cohesive unit in athletic competition. Arguably, the most difficult of these challenges is managing/dealing with disruptive players. I would define the term “disruptive player” to mean, ‘a player who consistently disrupts the team’s harmony, whether through bad behavior, negative attitudes, or other distractions.’ These disruptive players can quickly become a headache for coaches and they can also have a negative impact on the entire team. In this post, I will dive into five simple strategies that youth coaches like yourself can utilize, to deal with disruptive players on your team. Buckle up everybody! Here we go!
Set Clear Expectations And Consequences
One of the best ways to prevent disruptive behavior on a team, is to set clear expectations from the beginning of your season. The earlier, the better. Youth sports coaches should make sure that every player knows what is expected of them on the field/court/rink. This includes rules for behavior, attitude, effort, and respect for teammates and coaches. Coaches should also make it clear what the consequences will be for not meeting these expectations. For much younger players, these rules/consequences can be a bit more flexible (and rightfully so), but the importance of having a good attitude, etc. should still be a focal point of your coaching game plan. This will create a solid foundation for them to begin their character building.
To set these clear expectations, coaches should hold a 10-minute team meeting at the beginning of the season (I touched on this in my How To Handle Difficult Parents Of Youth Athletes post, so feel free to check that out as well, if you haven’t done so already.). During this meeting, coaches should go over team rules, codes of conduct, and other expectations. You should also make it clear what the consequences will be for players who do not meet the expectations that you have set forth. As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, you will probably exhibit more leeway with much younger players.
When it comes to consequences, coaches should be firm but fair. The consequences should be appropriate for the offense and should not be excessively harsh. For example, if a player is consistently late to practice, a consequence could be extra conditioning or sitting out part of the next game. Whatever the consequence, it should be clearly communicated to the player and their parents, and it must be consistently enforced, regardless of the player. When consequences are enforced for a particular player or players, the rest of the team should be assured that you do not play favorites (You can also make a point of this, in your 10-minute team meeting.). Firm but fair, IS the name of the game.
Communicate With The Player
When a player is being disruptive towards you and their teammates, it should not be ignored. It is essential for you, as their coach, to communicate with them and to do it in such a way that the player will be responsive to your inquiries. Please keep in mind, that you are not their friend, but an authority figure who is concerned about their negative behavior. You should make a concerted effort to understand why the player is behaving in that manner and determine what you can do to help them. More often than not, players who act out, are doing so for a reason. It could be due to stress at home, issues in school, conflict with a teammate, or frustration with their performance. Coaches should take the time (either before or after practice/a game) to have a discreet one-on-one conversation with the player. During this talk, you should listen to the player’s concerns and acknowledge their feelings. This can help the player feel heard and valued, which can go a long way in improving their behavior.
Coaches should also work with the player to develop a plan to improve their behavior. This plan should be focused on specific, measurable goals that the player can work towards. Coaches should be supportive and encouraging throughout this process, and they should celebrate the player’s successes. If necessary, check in with the parents during the week, to see how things are going.
Utilize Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can be used to improve a player’s behavior. When a player acts appropriately, coaches should make an effort to praise and acknowledge them. This can be as simple as saying “Great job!” or “Thank you for being a great teammate!” or giving enthusiastic hi-fives and fist bumps.
Positive reinforcement should be used consistently and should be tailored to each player’s needs. Some players respond well to verbal praise, while others might respond better to a tangible reward, like a sticker or something else of that nature. By using positive reinforcement, coaches can encourage good behavior and create an all-around positive team culture.
Involve Parents In The Process
This can never be understated. Parents can be a valuable resource and asset when dealing with disruptive players. Coaches should communicate with parents regularly to keep them informed about their child’s behavior and progress. This can help parents understand what is expected of their child and what they can do to help.
If a player is consistently disruptive, coaches should schedule a meeting with their parents. During this meeting, coaches should be honest and direct about the player’s behavior. They should also work with parents to develop a plan to improve the player’s behavior.
It is important to remember that parents can be emotional about their child’s behavior. Coaches should approach these conversations with empathy and understanding, and they should be open to feedback from parents. Conversely, there can also be instances where the parent of the player may be to blame, for the bad behavior. Sometimes the child is forced into a particular sport and he/she has absolutely no interest in it. If the player divulges to you, that their parents put them in the sport against their wishes, then that is a most definitely, a private conversation that you need to have with the parents. Again, this situation needs to be discussed with sensitivity and a non-intimidating approach. Ask questions of the parents, such as:
1. “Timmy made mention to me, that he really doesn’t enjoy playing ______. Were you aware of that?”
2. “Does Jane enjoy playing ________?”
3. “Does Timmy love playing ________ at home with his siblings?”
These types of questions can open an honest dialog with parents and can potentially point to the parents forcing their child to play the sport, as the main reason for their disruptive behavior. It is a very difficult realization to face, for all parties involved, however, uncovering it at that time, can hopefully squash any new behavioral issues that may arise.
Using Benching As A Last Resort
Benching should be used as a last resort when dealing with disruptive players. While benching can be an effective consequence, it should not be the first one used. Coaches should make sure that the player is aware of their behavior and the consequences of continued disruptive behavior.
If benching is necessary, coaches should communicate with the player and their parents beforehand. Coaches should explain why the player is being benched, what they need to do to improve their behavior, and what the consequences will be if they do not. You need to consider the benching as a corrective action, not as a direct punishment, per se.
Overall, dealing with disruptive players can be a challenging task for youth sports coaches. However, by setting clear expectations, communicating with players, using positive reinforcement, involving parents, and using benching as a last resort, coaches can effectively manage disruptive behavior and create a positive team culture. If benching does occur, it is important that it is not misconstrued as some kind of time-out on a deserted island. Although the player is benched, they are still a vital part of the team. The other players on the team should acknowledge the benched player, in a positive way. No teasing or laughing at the player who is benched, should be tolerated. In the unfortunate case that the behavior is highly reprehensible, then steps can be taken, to have distance placed between the benched player and the rest of the team, until the game concludes. That is acceptable. In this case, having open communication with the parents is paramount, to ensure that no miscommunication is occurring. Hopefully, this will be a situation that parents can get behind, for the good of their player and for the rest of the team.
So What Have We Learned?
Player with bad attitudes can be an absolute drain on a team’s focus, energy and goals. For coaches, it can be very taxing on the mind, to constantly have the need to correct a player’s behavior. For those teammates, who have a strong desire to learn the sport in question, those one or two bad apples can lead a whole team to lose focus. As a youth coach, it is important that you are mindful or your players’ behavior and how said behavior can change over the course of the season. When you see those changes occurring, connect with that player ASAP, to begin the process of helping them get back on track. As adults, we are stewards of our young people today and as a youth coach, there are no exceptions to that rule.
Please feel free to leave a comment below, about this discussion! If not, you can simply say “Hi!”. I like it when people say “Hi!”. And as always…thanks for reading!